I’ve been trying to narrow down my topics about witchy stuff. Should I offer a review of the book I’m reading, the Witches’ Self Care Book? Should I talk about tarot cards, when there are other, bigger and better podcasts about tarot out there?
Then I decided, I should go into my own magickal journey and tell you how I’ve ended up here, in this place.
I first started in college with The Book of Black Magic by Aleister Crowley. I remember getting it at a yard sale when I was in my teens. At the time, I was being bullied in school and was looking for a way to get the bullies to stop. I was ready to try anything, and Black Magic seemed to be the way to go at the time.
I tried to read it, but it was too difficult for me at the time, so I remember hiding it away—so well, I can’t find it even now. That led to my first tarot deck, the Aquarian Tarot, which I still have. I remember buying it when I was fourteen or fifteen—I say fifteen for ease of counting—at a place called the Curly Caterpillar, which is no longer there; it’s a coffee shop now. I also remember locking myself in my room with that and Eden Gray’s book on tarot, trying to figure out the meanings of the cards. I practiced bridge shuffling for hours, both a regular deck and a tarot deck.
Eventually, I found my way into witchcraft. First I started with Ceremonial magick, but that was too high-brow and stiff for me. I went to a couple of coven-meetings which was Gardnerian witchcraft, which is a lot of Ceremonial Magick trappings with a goddess base. My last contact with a group was with a small coven out of Woonsocket, where I went to someone’s Wiccan initiation.
I decided covens were not for me. Next, I kind of put my magic away for years, reading some things, writing about magic. At first, I chose Wicca, but I’m not that deep into the nature of things to stick with it. Nature awes me, true; but I’m too much of a city girl to go traipsing through the woods to find a perfect spot to worship the gods.
Years have gone by, and tarot cards and the gods remained with me. Athena and Hermes mostly (though Hermes scares me because he’s the trickster god. I’m always afraid he’ll twist me around every which way before it turns out okay). I have statues of Athena and Hermes, and Hekate and Hades for shadow work—when I stop being too scared of that to actually delve into the Shadow. I’ve read and studied, but as for practical stuff, I do a lot of little things, like to have a good parking spot or to get somewhere in a hurry. I’ve performed rituals before I go out and hawk my books, with mixed success. I have done protective rituals, and banishing rituals, rituals for mindfulness and circles for creating sacred space. The last time I did any worship was over thirty years ago, in a grove in the woods.
My religion, if you want to call it that, is a lot about paying it forward. I try to be kind, I give complements when I can, and I believe that when I’m in need, then it’ll come back to help. When Hermes has a hand in it, it might take a while or it might come out better than I expected.
So that’s where I am today, surrounded by tarot cards, books, and cats. Next time I’ll try and think of something a little more useful than just my journey down the path.
I hope you enjoyed this podcast, and if you want to contact me you can do so on Twitter @darkmysticquill, Facebook with Dark Mystic Quill, and email me at mercenarysorcerer at gmail .com. I also have an Instagram, @soultalestarot.
Talk to you all soon!